Another Move
Two months after my last blog, I moved from the Cherry tree location. A place opened up right next to my son and his family. I broke a lease, paying penalties of course, and made the choice to get while the getting was good.
I did a lot of crying at the Cherry tree location. A lot. Though it was only a few miles as the crow flies away from my current location, I was alone. And even though I had been alone for a very long time, even while living with a spouse, it was a different kind of alone. I am in a much better place physically and mentally since the move. I think I've only cried once and I've been here close to 3 months now. Progress!
I'm surrounded by many beautiful trees here, but also sky and field! It's beautiful. Soon there will be a duplex directly across, obscuring my view a bit, but you can't have it all, right? The house is renovated and charming. Open, airy, and the perfect spot for Miss Mojo who has become spoiled rotten with lots of play time. She feels if it is sun shiny, we must be outdoors, playing ball with the boys. Otherwise, she sits staring next door, patiently waiting for any sign of movement. Biggie or the boys must come join her soon!
I knew family was important, but I don't think I recognized exactly how important it was to me until I was forced to leave my home. (And yes, I was forced...no one can live like I was living and remain sane.) We may disagree, do things differently and have varied schedules, but there is nothing like being near your people.
I'm doing a lot of healing. Seeing things I never saw before. And learning more about myself than I thought there was to know. I know what I don't want...I just still haven't figured out what I do want. I'm trusting God to direct my path, while I keep on swimming...just doing the things that are put in front of me. Taking one day at a time, and giving Him everything that I don't really know what to do with.
Like the home...how to go about finalizing things...selling, getting the big D, moving forward in a more permanent way. That's for God to direct. The boat...I don't want it to just sit and rot, but it speaks to me sitting in the field right next door.
I keep telling myself it's early yet...I only left 8 months ago? Sometimes it feels like forever.
I am home sick with some sort of bug today. May go in later. Praying for strength, for family, for strongholds to be torn down. Satan prowls like a lion, looking for someone to devour. He's putting in overtime these days, and eating plenty. He certainly did a number on this family. But we're the ones who opened the doors. We can only pray the good Lord saves us from ourselves.
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